so many classification..for what?

A friend of mine believes that gay, straight or bi..all of these are simply ridiculous and so back-dated. According to him, we are living in the post-gay world where anything is possible between two people..one just need to look for(?) the right hit on right time.

Personally, I consider myself as a "sexual'' ( not homo/bi-sexual) "testosterone driven male"( these tags have been borrowed from a very dearest friend of mine). He is a journo and writer and has influenced my personality to many extent as I met him during a crucial period of my growing up. However, I think, I can have it with any girl but I prefer men. And ofcourse, that really does not mean I am being politically correct and leaving some options for me to be a bi in near future. Because, I have have been changed a lot growing up and that would definitely continue in the coming years. Who knows, I might become more interested in to girls. Would that be malicious? Well, another friend of mine never feels it for a girl and whenever he tried it with them, he experienced a big turn off. I think, since I have not yet tried it with a girl, I might face the same problem. That is why I always say, in this world, nothing is absolute. Everything is relative and subjected to changes.

I have seen people using words like true bottom or true top. I don't know why they do so. Does adding the word ''true'' really help to identify or classify someone? Once a guy told me that he is ''pure top'' because he never even takes the dick in his mouth, let alone up his ass. He was proud that he only gives, whether in mouth or in cunt. On the other hand, I know some people who always likes to take it whether it fits or not, whether they like the person or not, they just like to take. They think taking is the only option left for them to get some pleasure. Their so called ''top'' counterpart does not even fancy giving them a hand-job and they are happy this way. They feel like servers, true servers.

There is another like versatile. In Dhaka, many bottoms have become versatile in recent times. I am also one of them. It is fine because a new horizon has been opened before us. But some people do likes to hide this because they think it is shameful to take someone's tool up your chute. I don't understand why they think so. Why do people always need to give rise to so many complications in everything? I have seen macho men who likes to take it and of course. none of them were sissy. And also I have seen sissy people who likes to give only. So, tagging girlish boys, cross-dressers or even worst kind as ''true bottom'' would be a partial view on the matter.That day, i was making fun with a friend of mine with the famous bangla link refilling system-i-top-up. I told him that the word seems very sexist to me as if someone who boasts about both being top and being on someone. He laughed and said, then there should be something like i-bottom-down. Thus a number of subcategories can be made and that would be done for nothing.

Life is simple and one must make it happy with every possible way available. However, I am winding up. catch you guys later.

the journey to find my ownself!

dark is the color of my dream
sour is the taste of my fate
blue is the color of my scream
grey has been myself, to date!
paths had been lost ,days ago
shores had been wiped of the map
sea is the only place i have
depressions rose just from the low!
mute was my mind for long
nude were the facts i suffered
lonely life sucked big times, but
my silly dick remains always too hard!

Why are the gay people so emotional?

A friend of mine has been eating one time a day. He calls it a self-sacrifice. Because one of his close friends stopped talking with him and he, being sad with such detachment, started starving half a day for the last one month. Can you believe it? I can believe it. Because I know this friend for months. He is emotional and has some peculiar morality which seem, kind of, overt and unearthly, to me and also to other people. That friend of mine is gay and that is why I think this is quiet believable that he has been committing such apparently stupid-ish sacrifice.

I always think why gay men are behave so emotionally? Why most of them always think with their heart, not with their head? Well, I myself had been doing so for many days. I used to cry like a kid whenever I got emotionally involved with something. But now I am changed. Probably, it's time that has taught me some lesson. I hope, time would bless this friend of mine with the same medicine asap.

I have seen gay people behaving very irrationally at times. Generally, it is called "drama" in our gay circuit. I have seen boys manipulating their the-then counterparts by taking money or getting opportunities from them. And everywhere, they have used their emotion as a weapon. They were not emotionally wrecked. Still they have used it. They made emotion infamous. They made emotional outburst a ''drama''.

I do not have the question to the answer I started with today. I Hope some of you, the readers know. Please mail me and tell me about it. And also mail my friend at venus_piscean_2006@yahoo.com and tell him to start a new life with logical thinking.

Thanks to all.

Be social, be sexy

Be social…be sexy….!!!

In this article,I would like to discuss a few points about etiquettes that should be maintained while we invite someone to our place for having sex. However,some people may consider it as a funny piece of writing as we are not that accustomed to practising such behaviours very often.

●Always try to maintain a level about people with whom you are going to have sex.Random sex with anyone ,at anytime not only poses risk for STI(sexually transmitted infections),but also it can effect your personality and humor.Besides you can be graved by problems like hi-jacking.(There are many instances where the invited guy,after having sex,showing a knife and also threating about disclosing the truth to the family,has looted important things from the victim’s room).

●When you are going to invite someone to your place,re-check your schedule and then make dates.And inform him properly the address of your place.If you are to pick him up,then reach the venue before given time so that there ocuurs no chance of misunderstanding about the date.

●Once the man/boy is in your house,treat/welcome him as your guest.Offer him some drink(there is no hard and fast rule that you have to offer him royal drinks ;sometimes a glass of water is much more soothing than a mug of beer).

●As we are human beings,not any beats,you should not jump over the guest just after welcoming him.Spare him sometime and try to have a friendly chat so that the person feels at home in your company.

●Ask him if he needs a shower or not.It is beneficiary in many ways.It will hep the person to freshen up and at the same time he would understand that you are a person of good hygiene.(well,this point obviously would seem as a fiasco to those person who are habituated to call on boys to their house/office,and have a raw sex).

●Once you are about start it,try to relax and behave quiet friendly with the counterpart.

Start it up with mild touch,soft kisses and apply lots of body contacts.Don’t hurry for the ultimate performance.Let his body wake up and let him so the same to you.Try to concentrate fully in your pleasure.(This point also funny enough for those who have a private room for themselves yet always feel panic-seized about the other family members to invade any time and discover their forbidden play!)

●Always treat your bottom as your better-half in the game.Never behave like a living-butt-machine only to poke the ass-hole brutually.(well,there are a lot of hidious bottoms in bd who themselves treat them as hole-holders and for those fat-dick-fetsh people ,I have nothing to say).

●Always use moderate amount of lubricants to relax the passage.Try not to use spits as its simply pungent and filthy.

●Always use proper protections for sex.These days condoms are so cheap and available.But if you are shy enough to purchase one from the shop,I think you have no right to have sex.

●Take care about your partner’s pleasure.Sex is not a some total of ass-stroking and semen-releasing! It can be divine if both the counterparts are helpful to each other.

●If you are having group-sex try to be caring about eveyone’s enjoyment.Don’t turn into a rape-like fucking session(while there is one or two bottoms are playing with several other tops).

●Always ask if the partner is ok after the sex is over.Ask him about anything he wants(some towels,soaps or anything else to freshen up).

●Once the sex is over,don’t behave like a selfish person.It means that you should the ask the person at once to leave your place .

Theses are some of the rules that I think should be maintained about sex.However, initially they may seem hard nuts to crack but frequent practise can be a lot of helpful.

Moreover,if anyone sticks to them,he must be able to enjoy the full in sex,that’s for sure.

Because anything done with passion and desire of perfection always brings great pleasure.

Cheerio!

Bird..o my lonesome bird!

This is one of my favourite coming out letter written to one of my college buddy whom I had fallen for!


deary,

i know why i am writing this to you.its nothing but a long cherished desire to let u know about something not very important,something whimsical but wonderful,worthy but woe-giving!

i was madly,deeply,stupidly,arrogantly and devaatatingly in love with u.i moved in to the hall just to be with you.well,i ws lucky as i had availed myself of the opportunity and was almost broken into pieces when i lost it.sounds funny or terrible?whatvere!

i awfully liked the way u grab smone from back..or shud i say u used to grab meeeeeee from back....i went ga ga for it and also i liked sm more things about u....ur stylish attitude,demanour and being ''gifted wid gabon''.i loved the way ur body smells and it was enough for me to melt down on bed while we use to shre beds together.quiet crazy?huh?or slutty?

well,i am sexually attracted to men(dats why one can call me 'homo-sexual' and ofcourse i have been wid boys/menz b4....none from glhs,ndc or dmc certainly...its a different era) and i ud love to be loved by a man(so to say..i am gay...colorfully cool).but for u,all i felt was ''love''.........lust wasnt there at all.there was care.there was feelings and immense trust on u.i donno what ppl say to u about me caring so much for u.but sm of those came to my ear also and i really didnt mind.because i was in love.pure love!btw,u were the third one.......i mean ma third ''crush''......the two others were from am schools and college respectively.....(ma two other so good friends.....still dey like me like b4)......but wid urs.......it was ''actively'' most potent!....do i sound like a hellish creature badly infected wid love-ria?..!

i can understand that perhaps u cud have guesssed about ma feelings a lil bit.and the way u react......whatever it was ''apparently' cruel,heart-breaking,torchuring....may be it was the right thing for u to do.....because day by day i was 'stupidly'' gettin ''possessive'' about u and u were becoming 'awful' like never-b4.and suddenly,it blast!..........boom!!!!!

in that cold,clamy night...the worst night of ma life....wid mosquitoes and bone-aching chill out there near the pond of the hostel....only gods knew ma condition....!however,perhaps that was in store for me..how to escape ma fate?and perhaps dat one tormented night lft such a bad impression in ma mind..........i dont like to stay at dmc hostel at alll!

why do we fall in love?a tough question indeed!.whom shud we fall in love wid?..its a tougher one!

but the toughest one is...why do we fail to forget that incomplete lovestory?can we hate that person instead?no..never!it just keeps peepin in the mind....and flashing like a black-n-white scene of cinema in front of eyes.

well,i tried many things...to hate u,to forget u...to avoid u....but failed in everycase.but the good news is wid time i grow up...i have friends who teach me to see life from different aspects...cherish it....love it and live it!....dats why i think after so many days,i am able to say all these to u without any hasitation!

aah..about ma sexual orientation....i am nt confused and ofcourse i am clear to myself(coming out is no more a big dilemma)..........the gay circuit of dhaka is big and bad....all the fouls plays of so called ''straight'' world is available here..yet here is also true love blooms and nt wither away in every case!

well,i can feel that..the mail is goin quiet in a unbalanced way....yet i am happy as its all about sm closetted truth!

what else?lemme think!

nah..no more today......the mail is completely motive-less.......a simple one and nt demanding!

i am happy as like a true friend , i tried to find out the 'good',trust-worthy abir from u and u were so good wid me for whatever short period it was!and ofcourse..i still miss the ''grabbing from back'' a lot....almost every night i remember u just for this one thing!

take care.wish u a very happy eid mubarak and happy new year.if u wish,send a reply.if u dont,den dont.its no biggie!

wid love!

shuvro

foot-note:just because i have ''been there'' and ''done that''..........no need to think that i am a good ''lay'' for every tom,dick and harry i come across.......sex was never ma one-n-only passion!

Sea inside

I was 18. I had just appeared in my Higher Secondary Examination. I had experienced every bit of man to man sex. The one thing I did not know was I am a same sex lover. I would not say that I am gay. Because, the Bengali of the word gay/homosexual is "shomokami" meaning ''sexually attracted to same sex person". But I was sure, it was not only an urge to sleep with a boy/man. It was more than that. It was an intense desire to be loved by someone. I had two love stories in my kitty. Both were failed. Both had almost broken me into pieces. Yet I was walking, talking and doing every other thing with those broken pieces. I had to do so. I had to hide the sea inside myself from my near and dear ones.

I, then, started looking for someone, of same interest, to share a few talks, my views, to sit by the shore to enjoy a gentle breeze coming from the sea inside myself. I knew the sea could give me some wonderful story of courageous voyage. I also knew that the sea could give birth to tsunami, typhoon. Still I was looking for. I had one fine word inside my head-''gay''. A friend of mine from the school days, who used to praise my then-then bubble butt a lot, used the word in some connection. I did not pay any notice then. I did not know that I was or I could be gay. All i knew that I love to be with a man/boy. I love to see dick pics. I love to see big bulges. Later, I understood that those were nothing but mere outcome of my boyhood fantasies.

I searched for the world ''gay'' and I found so many porno websites. I wanted to see the movies, I wanted to savor the forbidden pleasure. But I did not know how. I clearly can remember I spent many hours in the cyber cafe just looking for those stuffs. But I was much more interested to know about same minded people if there were any. Then I started chatting on the famous chat room www.bdchat.com . It was long and tiresome. But I was looking for someone to share my ideas with. Thus one day I found out the only gay groups of Bangladeshi boys . It was sudden but I was so moved by the idea. Unfortunately, I lost their site address because it is not easily accessible. I was sad but kept searching for. It was a long pause. By that time, I started meeting people from the chat room. One of them let me know about the link and I logged in. I was happy that at last I found what I was looking for. I was happy that at last I would find some people to share my thoughts with.

As it happen with many boys in this indo-pak subcontinent, the first sexual exposure of a boy starts within his family, with another cousin brother/uncle or someone bigger. The same happened with me. It started within the closet and spread ed outside it. But sleeping with people, I have not known before, felt kind of awkward to me in the beginning. But I was a growing boy and had my certain urges. I nodded to them and started having it with people I have met for the first time. Most of the time, it has been just blow jobs or hand jobs. Because, taking the session to a full course was still an enigma for me. I was shaky but curious.

In this blog, I will keep talking about different aspects of my life, our life-the way I have seen. Hope it would help you to know about us.